Category: Life Lessons

In an introduction reminiscent of “Heeeeere’s Johnny!” on The Tonight Show, our grandson did a spot-on impersonation of Ed McMahon last week. Just 2 years old and standing in his crib waiting to be lifted out, our grandson Walter would say, “Iiiiiit’s …. Gramma Joan!” Ed McMahon couldn’t have said it any better. Coming from Walter, it melted my heart. I loved hearing those three simple words spoken by a little guy wearing jammies and a sleep sack.

Life as Grandma

I spent a week with our daughter Janet’s family, and one thing I enjoyed was getting Walter up in the morning and after naptime. Janet was expecting Baby No. 2 any day, and I was there to lend a hand. Walter is a chatterbox! For the first time in his young life, he called me Gramma Joan (again and again), a name that I am still getting used to. I’m sure it will be the first of many firsts in my life as a grandmother.

A Perfect Moment

I became a grandmother just two years ago, and so far, I love it. (Read about my months as Gramma Joan: Baby Love: The Surprises of a First-Time Grandma.) Walter’s such a sweetie, and I’m so happy to be a part of his life. Spending time together last week, we read stacks of books and played with every toy in sight, both inside and outside. My favorite moment happened outside on the deck. Walter and I were lying side-by-side inside the cave we made out of patio cushions, and it seemed like we were the only two people on Earth. We had each other, and that’s all that mattered. A perfect moment.

Our Second Grandson is Born

Now Walter has a baby brother, Leander, to join us in the patio cushion cave. I’m sure we have room for one more. (Read about Baby No. 2: Mother’s Day 2025: Anticipating a New Baby, New Bride.)
I left Janet’s home in the afternoon, so she got Walter up from his nap. Again, Walter did his best Ed McMahon impersonation, “Iiiiiit’s ….. Mommy!” He was happy to see her.

A Grandson Is Such a Delight

I bet Walter’s giving Tyler’s mom, Grandma Lucy, the same happy introduction when he sees her. Grandma Lucy is watching him this week. I heard that Walter was too distracted by a toy soldier to look at a photo of his baby brother. That’s OK. They’ll be seeing a lot of each other in the next few years. I’m sure they’ll be good buddies. I can’t wait to hold tiny Leander in my arms and introduce myself with – you guessed it, “Iiiiiit’s …. Gramma Joan!”

Changes are coming for this mom and grandma. Our family is growing. God willing, we will welcome another grandson in the summer and a daughter-in-law next fall. I’m excited about both! Our daughter, Janet, and son-in-law, Tyler, are expecting in July, and our son, Will, and his fiancé, Jenny, are talking about a Fall 2026 wedding. This Mother’s Day, six years after being cured of cancer, I’m so grateful to be a part of the life-changing moments ahead.

Welcoming a Daughter-in-Law

I still remember when Will and Jenny started dating. Will was so excited to tell us about her and wanted us to meet her. Will and Jenny make a great couple and share many of the same interests like reading, cooking, and hanging out with friends. They also enjoy hiking and exploring nature. At one point in their relationship, they compared their rock collections! I’ve never had a daughter-in-law, so this will be new territory for me. But like everyone else in the family, I’m so happy for Will and Jenny. Jenny is smart, thoughtful and fun to be around, and I’m looking forward to welcoming her to the family and spending more time with both of them.

Expecting a Grandchild

I’m also looking forward to welcoming a new baby to the family. It will be a huge change for Janet and Tyler, especially for the first year. Newborns are so needy! It won’t be easy, but it will wonderful just the same.

Loving our Grandson

It wasn’t that long ago that our 2-year-old grandson, Walter, was born. He’s changed so much since then. At his first birthday, he was still a baby in a lot of ways. I remember how he could barely open his own birthday presents. Now, he’s not only opening his own presents; he’s also opening the not-so-well-hidden Christmas presents intended for me and Grandpa. Plus, he’s talking up a storm, running everywhere, and is so smart. He can even peel his own clementine. That’s impressive!

Recalling My Days as Mom

Walter and I had so much fun together this spring, reading books and playing with the classic toys and games that I kept for 30 years. Now, our next generation is riding on the rocking horse and playing Looping Louie and Lucky Ducks. It brings back so many good memories from the days when Will and Janet were little.

Anticipating Big Changes Ahead

Will and Janet have changed so much since then, and they continue to grow and change in positive ways. They’re both anticipating big changes in their lives, and I’m happy to be along for the ride. Being their mom is pretty special. I wouldn’t change a thing.

Happy Mother’s Day!

I’ve been a grandma for 15 months, and my life is richer because of it. When our daughter, Janet, was expecting, everyone told me I’d love being a grandma. That’s so true! The wonders of being a grandma continue to surprise me.

Unexpected Worries

The first surprising thing about my grandson, Walter, was the worry. I’m a mom, so it’s my job to worry. When he was born in February 2023, another little person entered my life to worry about. Bringing a baby into the world doesn’t always go as planned. So, I did my share of worrying during those first few days for Walter and his mom and dad.

The Joy of Bonding

Thankfully, the worry faded. Now I can enjoy the happy surprises of life as a grandmother. One of the biggest surprises is how wonderful it feels to have Walter stretch out his little baby hands for me to hold him. I feel like I won the lottery, because I was chosen over Mom, Dad, and his favorite person, Grandpa Bill. I’m also surprised by how much I love our one-on-one time. Over the past 15 months, we took walks together, played together, and built a snowman together. What a joy it is to hear him squeal with delight when I chase him and hear him babble when I talk to him. I am really getting to know him, and he’s getting to know me, too.

Diaper Dilemma

Another surprising thing – changing a diaper is tricky. The first time I changed Walter, I put the diaper on backwards. Diapers haven’t changed that much in 30 years, so it must have been me that changed. I admit I was rusty, I had no trouble the second time around. While Walter has grown and changed so much in 15 months, he’s still a baby who needs a lot of care – and a lot of diaper changes.

Cherished Moments

But sometimes, he seems so grown up. I remember one Sunday at church when little Walter surprised us all. Grandpa Bill was holding Walter during the Mass, when Walter imitated my folded hands and my singing. Bill thought he was holding an angel. What a moment!

Baby-Proof Adventures

I’m also surprised that the contents of my cabinets are so interesting. Walter loves to open the cabinet doors, pull everything out, and spread everything around on the floor. Our house isn’t baby-proofed. When Janet and Walter visited in April, Walter was exploring our bathroom cabinets while Janet was running his bath water. I heard Janet sigh with exasperation and say, “Oh, Walter!” He had pulled out the toilet bowl cleaner, Windex, and other no-nos. The cleaners all ended up on the countertop, out of his reach.

Parenting Comes Naturally

Finally, I’m surprised by how wonderful it is to see Janet and Tyler as parents. They sing him silly songs, play silly games, and use silly voices when they read books to him. They are naturals – so loving, fun and responsible as Mommy and Daddy.

Happy Mother’s Day

So far, being a grandmother has been everything it’s cracked up to be. I’m looking forward to more surprises in life as Walter’s grandma. Happy Mother’s Day to all moms and grandmothers, too.

In July, we learned the exciting news.
In August, I shopped at a zillion rummage sales, until my car was so full that I couldn’t fit another baby bib or onesie inside.
In November, I co-hosted a baby shower, with more cute rubber duckies than I’ve ever seen in my life.
In December, I opened a special Christmas gift, a sweatshirt with my soon-to-be new title, Grandma.
In February, the doctor set a date for Mom and Dad to be at the hospital for something incredible.
Today, we’re at T minus 6, and the waiting is really getting to me.

Such a Long Wait for This Grandma-To-Be

For heaven’s sake, nine months is long enough! I can’t imagine being an elephant’s grandma-to-be. Elephants have 22-month gestational periods! Plus, they’re too big to swaddle, hold in my arms, and just gaze at in wonder. I’m having trouble concentrating on work today. My mind keeps drifting to thoughts of Janet and Tyler and the baby boy they’re expecting.

Grandmotherly Advice

Over the last few months, I’ve heard from so many grandparents, and every one of them was excited to tell me that I will love being a grandma. In the summer, I volunteered at Vacation Bible School, and the 4- and 5-year-olds melted my heart. When one little girl sat next to me and rested her head against my arm at the closing prayer service, I couldn’t help but smile.
Then, last month I went on retreat with 30 teenagers, who offered me marvelous advice about how to be a phenomenal grandparent:

• Always have cookies and good food on hand
• Take trips to the park or play outside together
• Slip the grandkids a little cash once in a while
• Attend their concerts, sporting events, etc.
• Never be too busy to listen
• And the dubious advice that really cracked me up: Say “Yes” to the things that Mom and Dad say “No” to – within reason, of course.

The Road to Motherhood

The road to motherhood hasn’t been all unicorns and rainbows for Janet, and I admire her for always doing what’s right for her and the baby. I also admire Tyler’s support through it all. They’ll make wonderful parents, that’s for certain.

I remember a few days after Janet got her driver’s license years ago, and she asked to use the car. To my surprise, she wanted to go visit Grandma Pat. I want to be that kind of Grandma. Just a few more days until I join the ranks of Grandparenthood.

Postscript Note from the New Grandmother

Here’s an update: Walter Carl was born on Feb. 18. Mom, Dad, and baby Walter all are doing well. So is Grandma Joan although I’m still getting accustomed to the title Grandma Joan. I had the chance to hold him and rock him when he was just a week old. Now, he’s smiling! And so am I.

We did something big this month – as in 19,341 feet Mount Kilimanjaro big. It’s hard to top that! (Pun intended.) I use the word “we” loosely. My husband, Bill Koehne, climbed Mount Kilimanjaro while I remained in Abrams at a ridiculously low elevation of 696 feet. I may not have spent eight days climbing a mountain, but I was there in spirit. You see, Bill carried my mini-me Wonder Writer action figure to the summit to remind him of my support and to snap some rare photos of Wonder Writer soaring above the clouds.  

Do you have what it takes to climb Kilimanjaro?

For those who don’t live with a mountain climbing fanatic like I do, let me tell you a little about the amazing feat Bill achieved. On July 6, Bill departed O’Hare Airport and on July 7, arrived at Kilimanjaro International Airport 8,000 miles away. Mount Kilimanjaro actually is a dormant volcano and has three volcanic cones. Located in Tanzania in eastern Africa, Kilimanjaro is the highest mountain in Africa. It’s higher than any mountain peak in the U.S. with the exception of Mount McKinley in Alaska. Although Mount Kilimanjaro isn’t a steep climb, summiting the mountain is extremely difficult. Here are a few reasons:

Acclimate to the high altitude

Bill’s group of seven climbed four days before spending two nights at 14,117 feet to let their bodies adjust to the elevation. The next day, they hiked to high camp, called the School Hut, at 15,518 feet to prepare for the summit the following day. One night, Bill’s blood oxygen level fell to 81 percent, which was a concern because levels under 80 end a hiker’s climb. Fortunately, Bill rebounded to an acceptable 93% the following day.

Endure cold, windy sections of the trail

For someone like Bill who detests Wisconsin winters, tenting in 15-degree temps is really uncomfortable. When you add in the rain and the wind, the mountain becomes even more inhospitable. With a sleeping bag liner and hand warmers tucked inside his mummy-shaped sleeping bag, he made the best of it.

Undergo an arduous summit day

The group started the day at 3am and ended the day 11 hours, 20 minutes later. First, they climbed to Gilman’s Point to see extraordinary views from the crater rim at 18,640 feet. After two more hours of hiking, they reached the summit of Uhura Peak at 19,341 feet. You’d never guess what Bill carried to the summit. Because the porters carried his pack, he carried something belonging to his mountain climbing guide – a ukulele in its case. Why a ukulele? His guide Ricardo, a musician, wanted to record a song on at the mountain top. Unbelievable!

Make it home safe and sound

Bill returned home on July 17 after this trip of a lifetime. Wonder Writer made it home, too, with a little volcanic dust on her costume but otherwise in good shape.

Check Mt Kilimanjaro off the bucket list

Bill has had some incredible experiences hiking and climbing in Hawaii, Colorado, France, and Spain. In July 2022, he added Mount Kilimanjaro to his list of accomplishments. I’m amazed by each one! Now when Bill tells me he wants to climb something or hike something, I take him seriously. How does he do it? He tells me it’s as simple as putting one foot in front of the other.

Call it a mother’s intuition. It never failed that I was up just shy of 1 a.m. to see our son, Will, walk through the door on his visits home from Atlanta. He’d pull into the driveway after the 15-hour drive to Wisconsin, and I was there to welcome him home.

When Will arrived home in June, I was nowhere to be found. He was surprised by my absence, and he certainly let me know it! I didn’t realize how much it meant to be there for him. I should know better by now. You’re never too old to be loved by your mom.

Talking about age, I look at Will sometimes and wonder. How can this 30-year-old man be my son? I can still picture him as a baby in my arms. The 1 a.m. feedings when he was a baby lacked the welcome-home excitement that his cross-country road trips created. Instead, the middle-of-the-night meetings were exhausting, but a rite of passage nonetheless.

Nowadays, Will arrives home at a decent hour. He moved to Madison in May 2021 after 4 years in Atlanta and 2 years in Philadelphia during the travel-restricted COVID-19 years. 

Finally, one of our birdies flew closer to the nest! I remember Will opening Christmas gifts during a video call. Sure, it was the next best thing to being together in person, but a poor substitute. Now, Will attends all of the holiday gatherings, with a few extra visits thrown in. Plus, I get to visit him in Madison. We’ve gone to the Milwaukee Brewers game on Star Wars Night, walked to the Governor’s Mansion from his apartment, and toured Olbrich Botanical Garden. I met his girlfriend, Jenny, and I look forward to getting to know her. I bet she’s willing to wake up at 1 a.m. to greet him after a long absence.

So, what about the other birdie that flew the coop? Our daughter, Janet, and her husband, Tyler, are feathering their nest in Mellen and getting more comfortable in the home they purchased in the fall of 2019. Last week they planted two apple trees and ordered a weeping willow. It’s pretty obvious that they put down roots. Mellen, home of the Granite Diggers, is a Northern Wisconsin community where the people are friendly, the snow is deep, and the moon is bright. Needless to say, they like it Up North. Visiting their nest takes more time and more gasoline, but it’s worth it. It keeps my mothering instincts sharp.

This Mother’s Day I’m welcoming a new mom to the club! I just got a text message from my sister, Sue, the newest Marcks girl to become a grandma. 

Congratulations to all of the moms celebrating Mother’s Day, whether it’s your first, 30^th or something even grander. Whatever your age and whatever the hour, always be there for your kids. It means more to them than you realize. To read last year’s Mother’s Day reflection, go to Mother’s Day 2021: Selfies & Family Movies

I had the most magnificent birthday this year. It will be hard to top this in a million years. But I guess a million years is small-potatoes in the history of the earth. The wondrous venue where I celebrated my 57^th birthday was a lot older than me! Bill and I were vacationing in New Mexico, home to Carlsbad Caverns National Park, where 4- to 6-million years ago sulfuric acid dissolved the limestone and left behind gypsum, clay, and silt.

Without a guide and relying on the occasional light reflecting off the formations, we walked the 1.25-mile trail that slowly meandered down 75 stories to the base of the Big Room. The Big Room is aptly named. It’s the largest single cave chamber by volume in North America. Every single cave I toured in my lifetime could have fit inside the Big Room.

At one point, after hiking for over an hour, we stopped to sit on stone benches. I sat in awe of the majesty of it all. So vast, top to bottom, side to side. So interesting, with mounds, curves, and rock that looked nothing like rock. Not beautiful. There was too much dirt to be beautiful, but stunning.

As I sat there, a felt a reverence for this big, open space. I hadn’t felt that way since I visited Rome and sat inside the majestic cathedrals with high arches and grandiose ceilings that took my breath away. Sitting in the Big Room, I marveled at the natural beauty found so deep underground.

Over our two weeks of hiking in New Mexico and Arizona, we saw even more beauty above ground. Sometimes, like on Cathedral Rock in Sedona, we hiked for miles before reaching the reward of a summit view.

I felt so small at times, while walking alongside the towering red rocks of Sedona or the mountains of New Mexico. Yet I never felt insignificant. Maybe it was because of all the happy birthday wishes, cards, and presents I received. Birthdays are so wonderful because of the outpouring of love – like a flash flood in the Arizona desert. Even as small as I was compared to the vast mountains and caves of the Southwest, I was big in the lives of my family and friends, especially my husband. Every time we vacation together, he tells me that he can’t imagine being with anyone else. A marriage like that is rock solid.

I am so thankful for our Southwest vacation, for the opportunity to leave everyday life behind and climb to amazing heights, travel to astounding depths, and see amazing sights. Definitely a birthday to remember. Thanks for all of the happy birthday wishes!

(To read another birthday post, go to Why I Love Turning 54.)